


In the Long Nights

by andromedablacc (TheLittleGreenTypewriter)



Series: andromedablacc's imagine james and sirius prompts [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Seasonal Affective Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21636934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleGreenTypewriter/pseuds/andromedablacc
Summary: For the prompt:"I hope this isn’t too much to ask of you but could you do one where James and Sirius are married but Sirius is depressed or something along the lines of that? (could it be super angsty then end fluffy but it doesn’t have to be) :3"
Relationships: Sirius Black/James Potter
Series: andromedablacc's imagine james and sirius prompts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1327511
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	In the Long Nights

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote Sirius as having seasonal affective disorder here because that's what I suffer from, but its mentioned that he also has depression.

Sirius never slept for long, that had been true for as long as James had known him. At first he'd simply thought Sirius just didn't need it, content on little more than a quick four hours. It hadn't really been until the third Christmas Sirius spent with the Potters and Sirius slept for a solid fifteen hours that first night that James realised Sirius didn't sleep because something was wrong. Even now they've been married for nearly ten years and Sirius hasn't spoken to the Blacks in far longer, him sleeping for more than a few hours is unusual, awake long after James has fallen asleep and gulping down piping hot tea before he wakes.

Knowing this, James never wakes Sirius if he oversleeps, even during the week when they're both expected to be in the Aurors office before nine. Sirius finally getting a good night’s sleep is more than worth the row James gets from Scrimgeour, and Moody and Kingsley are always there to stand up with him.

So when, on one dark winter morning just before seven, Sirius is still fast asleep, curled against James's side, he's as gentle as possible as he slips from the bed and draws the curtains. It's a mostly pointless exercise, it's still pitch black outside more than a month out from the winter solstice, and it makes no difference to the interior of the room. He feels the draw of his lovely warm bed and his lovely warm husband in it like an ache in his belly, and when he leans down to kiss Sirius's smooth forehead before he apparates away, its almost impossible to deny. He does though, knowing even Moody will have a hard time covering up both of their absences.

He doesn’t really think about it for the rest of the day, not when Scrimgeour shouts at him about priorities and honesty and all that shit, and not when Sirius doesn’t answer his mirror-call at lunch time. In fact, he doesn’t think about it at all until he returns home, and not even a faint mumble from their bedroom answers his arrival. He tries the mirror again, wondering if Sirius has gone out to get some last minute thing, but gives up on the fourth ring when he still gets no answer, his own face still staring back at him, slightly blurry around the edges from the vibration.

“Sirius,” he calls, first into the kitchen then up the stairs. “Padfoot! Sirius?”

He doesn’t even hear the thud of the cat jumping off the bed like she normally does when he returns home, or makes too much noise in general.

Worry sinks like a stone in his gut as he keeps calling on his way upstairs and no answer is forthcoming. He pauses outside their closed bedroom door, holding his breath to see if he can hear anything at all. Nothing. He pulls out his wand, always the auror, and holds it close as he pushes open the door, faint orange light spilling out into the corridor.

The voice is so quiet he barely hears it. “Sorry, love. ‘M just here.”

He lets out a low sigh of relief and pushes the door open fully, walking in to see Sirius still in bed, completely covered by the duvet, the only things visible a fan of black hair on the pillow and a tiny black paw hanging over the bed.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asks as he pulls off his boots and discards his cloak, letting it fall in a deep red puddle on the floor. No answer comes bar the slight shifting of the bodies under the covered and the appearance of the top of Sirius face, grey eyes red and raw and immeasurably sad.

James’s heart tightens at the look, at the knowledge that he missed just how bad a day Sirius was having. He should have woken him in the morning he realises, should have taken the day off with him, snuggled in their bed.

Sirius slinks back under the covers as James climbs in, pulling them over his own head to enclose the three of them completely. His husband reaches for him instantly, he scoots Elvendork out of the way to pull him into his arms. He doesn’t bother asking what’s wrong, knowing the inevitable answer of ‘nothing’ would be both completely correct and immeasurably incorrect. What is wrong with Sirius has little to do with the here and now, and everything to do with his own mind and the crippling lack of sunlight provided by the British winters.

Though certainly not happier, Sirius does seem more at peace in James’s arms, no longer crying but still sniffling. James doesn’t want to leave him alone ever again. They lie like that for a while, neither sleeping nor fully awake, with Elvendork curled up like a furry hot water bottle at James back, until Sirius’s stomach rumbles loudly enough to rouse the cat from her slumber.

“Indian?” James asks, readying himself to go for the take away place down the street. Lily has introduced them both to many muggle things, both great and small, but take away is definitely the best thing the muggles have ever invented. That, and the telly. They even have a phone, just so they can order it.

Sirius nods, and James slips out of bed to get the phone with the promise that he’ll be back in just a minute. Downstairs, he orders Sirius’s favourite with loads of rice and bread, like carbs will somehow cure all of Sirius’s depression. It won’t, and neither will James’s unconditional love, but neither will hurt him either.

When it arrives, they eat in bed as James tells Sirius how the day without him went, and once they’re done, James runs a piping hot bath and sinks into it alongside Sirius. They end the day back in bed, with James having written a message for both of them to have the next day off, claiming a cough and a cold, and Sirius is feeling a little better, if not a lot. Sometimes, they just need to take it in little bits.


End file.
